Christmas is the best time of year When shelves are stocked with nog you know it's here A gallon or two of this seasonal fixture Means a season filled with delicious egg mixture Makes me wanna scream out! Chug-O-Nog Juggernaut Crushing every single drop of nog that you've got Chug-O-Nog Juggernaut Get a funnel down your muzzle and guzzle a lot Obsession for this potion will sweep the land Unstoppable force consuming more is now at hand While everybody else is Yuletide loggin A Juggernaut is pouring more into his noggin Juggernauts sing out! Chug-O-Nog Juggernaut Get a bib, take a sip, drink it down like a sieve Chug-O-Nog Juggernaut Here's a tip, get it quick, cause it's gone like McRib Thick and rich, you better pour it quick A season of drinking will make your stomach big He doesn't dream of sugar plums, he's whipped into a frenzy An avalanche of foaming nog will make him burn with envy Elixir made from egg, you're gonna have to beg When you're out of nutmeg, he doesn't break your leg Or leave you in traction from a spinal force compaction His only satisfaction is the nog slogging action So pour yourself a mug and take a swig And like the Hulk your eyes will glow, nog makes you big The Juggernaut has come to life, an overwhelming force With gobs of nog gushing forth a never-ending source Juggernauts shout! (Chorus)

Walking down the aisle I crack a fragile smile Knowing all the while I'm fading... Finished with the walk My knees begin to lock Slipping into shock I'm gimcrack... Fainting... Fainting at the altar Fainting... I tremble and I falter Going into prayer Crumble do I dare My mind just isn't there I'm flacid... Stand on rubber legs My cup drained to the dregs I'm out of Lite Brite pegs I'm Caliban... Fainting... I find it hard to focus Fainting... Uncertain of my locus

Monty's top ten favorites of the week